So this is my start over
by ilove0t6forever
Summary: When I died I was very happy. So when I was reincarnated, I was quite understandably upset. Not only did i not get a choice in the matter, but i was also a tiny baby! How the hell was I supposed to react?
1. Thank god it's over

**Disclaimer: I own nothing but my OC because if I did own the show, the girls would be more badass and there would be a helluva lot more slash.**

 **Anyway, Enjoy the story and please leave a review on your way out because mama is thirsty for some reviews. XD**

When I had died I was happy that it was over.

The beginning of my life was a happy one. I had a Single mother who was raising five kids on her own, including me. I must admit that I was a bit of a trouble maker and had always wanted to be the center of attention.

My older sister was very independent and although she had finished high school, decided to work a bit before she went to college. The three youngest ones were little trouble makers and although we had our fight, loved each other very much. Our family was a very tightknit one and one of the running jokes in our family was that if we met someone that we liked then they weren't just getting with them, but were getting with the entire family as a whole.

When I was five I realized that I liked anime. A lot. And had wanted to be a mangeka when I was older so that they could be happy with what I had drawn like I was happy with what other people had drawn. So I had been drawing ever since. You wouldn't really expect it but my entire family was very supportive of the idea and said" it's fine as long as I'm one of the main characters." To which I quipped back "Yeah as the annoying antagonist." Which started a wrestling war that I obviously won.

But like all good things it must come to an end.

You see, I was kidnapped when I was 10 going on 11. I was going to the store to get one of the newest manga that was just bought out and put on the display and was then bought into a nearby alley where I then had a white cloth put over my mouth and nostrils. The last thing I remember from that is seeing my mom's panicked face as she desperately called out my name running towards me. All I could even think of at that moment was 'sorry'.

You know I can't even remember what my family looks like. I can remember voices and smells. I can remember colors and laughter. When I still remembered their faces it was what had kept me going, or at least the memories had until I was taught better.

I had learned not to show pain the first couple of weeks I was there. _They_ had got exhilarated off of my screams, almost as if they were on a high. When I showed even the slightest bit of happiness the punishments were ten times worst afterwards.

I remember asking, begging why they were doing this, why were they doing it to _me_ , that I'd be a good girl just stop _stopstopithurtsithurtsmompleasehelpmemommyhelp_ but all they said was " **it's fun** "

I was a toy. I was taught to fight, dance, and draw just so I can keep them entertained. There weren't just men there though. Women, children who didn't know better and elderly people were all in the stands snickering as they saw me fight a man three times my size.

But sometimes though, sometimes they would get so angry that they would beat, rape, and slice me open, but they wouldn't touch me where anyone could see. My face hands and feet were all left untouched but underneath all of my clothes were terrible scars. Some of them were caused by knives or cigarettes but some of the worst were caused by human hands.

I can just barely recall one of my worst beatings. They had decided to use whips that day, all of them surrounding me and starting off hard to make immediate long and deep cuts, then going a bit softer, only barely enough to no longer split the skin. The only reason that I could think of as to why they were not going as hard is so that they could try and catch me off guard so they can hear my 'heavenly screams', but in their drunken stupor, never realized that I was always lost in my memories desperately trying to forget the hell I was in and would never give them the pleasure of hearing me scream.

So when I felt myself leaving my body I let myself smile for the first time in what had seemed like years. I gave one final glace at my killers and said "Thank you." Feeling darkness consume me soon after.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
 **AN: Hi everyone! I hope you enjoyed the first chapter! If you did please leave a review to let me know just how much you love it. Anyway I'm just letting you guys know in the first chapter that it is going to be slash. Now the thing about parings is that I kind of already have an idea of who I'm going to pair my oc with but you guys are free to leave suggestions and the reasons why.**

 **Ciao~**


	2. My mama

**Disclaimer: Again I own absolutely nothing but the few OC's I put into the story, no matter how much I wish to own the company, I'm afraid that I cannot draw for the life of me. I don't own any songs in this fic either so if you ever see a song just know, Mama is not that talented.**

 **Answers to some reviews:**

 _ **Waiting cat:**_ **Thanks for finding it interesting and I hope it keeps your interests!**

 _ **Anime fan:**_ **I'm writing as soon as inspiration hits me so hold on to your seat because it will be a bumpy ride! I hope it reaches your expectations! Oh and please give me ideas, I love hearing fans so please all ideas are welcome and though some might not be used I will always give credit to where it's due!**

 _ **Seere Klein:**_ **HAHAHA I do the same exact thing as well! Thanks for the help in my punctuation seriously auto correct is busting its ass trying to make sure that everything is as it should be!**

 **The PAIRING will be a surprise but I think you guys will have a sort of idea of who is going to be with who because let's face it, I'm not very subtle.**

I woke up surrounded by darkness. I use the term 'woke up' very loosely but it was the only term I could think of to describe what I'm feeling right now. Everything was moving at such a fast pace that I didn't know right from left, up from down. I felt so lost and everything was spinning and squeezing me so tight pleasemakeitstop until everything stopped and all I could feel is warmth.

A kind of warmth that was reminiscent to a mothers embrace. Something that I can't even remember feeling.

Suddenly a gentle yet familiar voice said one thing before a brutal light hit my eyes. "Be safe my child. Remember Mama will always love you. Please remember how to love, laugh, and feel."

Here the voice cracked a bit before going on "I am so sorry for what _they_ did to you and am going to block some of the worst memories you had in that _place"_ The voice sounded a bit like- but it couldn't be!

"Good luck on your next adventure my beautiful baby girl." The voice paused for a bit before chuckling" or should I say my baby _boy_."

'M-MAMA!'

Then a wailing sound pierced the air as voices began congratulating someone "Omedetō sore wa otokonokodesu!"

Having studied a bit of Japanese and blaming it on baby hormones, a stench of poop filled the air 'what did I get myself into!?

TIMESKIP

When I woke up again or rather my mind woke up again. I noticed the changes rather quickly. First off, I was a boy. To be honest I was hysterically relived though I did notice some similarities between a female and I quite clearly.

My face had turned narrower, my lips once thin as two sardines had turned fuller, and my eyelashes had also gotten longer and darker. So I was a very feminine boy, though it wasn't until later that I found out exactly why.

My eyes are a very different from my last life. Instead of the dead maroon eyes staring back at me, they were a lively cyan color that my mom loved gushing over. She said that they reminded her of a past lover and then she would get very sad. It would take hours to get her back to her old cheerful self, and even then a glimmer of sadness would still remain in her cerulean eyes.

My mom, Kikyo-san, she-she is one amazing women. Though she will never replace my mother from my old life, I feel she nestled her way right into my heart. She realized that I didn't exactly appreciate touching, affectionate or otherwise, so she did what she thought was best and taught me to fight and dance. Things I didn't even know that I loved or even needed until it was bought to my attention.

The only way she felt that she could connect with me, whether it was pats on my head in congratulations for winning a match or affectionate head buds, was when we were fighting physically or music.

Though my hair would always get in the way, I could never cut it, not after the last conversation I had with m-mom.

 _Flashback to little Akiko_

" _Mom?"_

" _Yes, Little one?"_

" _Can I get a haircut, I want to look like a boy, a real one. My features are already femin-"_

" _WHAT! I thought it would be something we could relate on~"_

" _But-but we already have dancing and fighting an-"_

 _~Cue pout_

" _Mom-"_

 _~Cue Bigger pout_

" _Liste-"_

 _~Cue huge pout with puppy eyes_

" _Okay mum, but you have to buy me vanilla milk shakes for the rest of my life!"_

" _Alright sweetheart, as long as you keep your hair as it is I would buy you the world."_

" _Okay~"_

 _Flashback end~~~_

…I'm tough I promise.

So yeah, my hair is usually kept in a fishtail braid because my mom likes the extra time it gives us to spend together, reaching the back of my knees. Its long I know but you try and say no to that face. Its slightly curly and a very deep dark black, almost obsidian if that makes sense.

Right now I'm now on my way to Namimori Middle after begging my mom to reconsider homeschooling, and even then the only reason I won was because I said she can play with my hair for half an hour longer. Though the joke is on her because I like having my hair played with, but I think she knows from the slightly amused smirk that slid onto her usually kind and understanding face.

Hmmm, whatever.

 **AN:**

 **HEY EVERYONE! Please review and leave your thoughts of this chapter below! Leave constructive criticism because flames will only be used to cook my hotdogs…I'm mature promise.**


	3. New school and letting go

**Disclaimer: I don't own shit except my oc's. Literally that is it~**

 **Hi! I'm back with a new chapter! How exciting, yeah? And holy shit did you guys see how many people followed and favorited! AAAARRRRGGGGHHHH! Anyway before I say anything else this needs to be said now. THIS IS SLASH/YAOI/BOYXBOY**

 **And while I don't mean to be all in you all's face about it I need it to be as clear as possible. Now onto reviews**

 _ **Waiting cat:**_ **Those cookies you gave me were freaking delicious, not even playing, really and thanks for your luck, it really gave me a green thumb in writing this chapter…if that make sense, anyway I hope that I haven't turned you off to reading this story for turning the main character into a boy :/ Ciao~**

 _ **Arashi – IV of VI:**_ **Thanks so much! Really, you all are making me blush. Any who, I hope you think that this chapter is lovely as well Ciao~**

 _ **Moonstar1312:**_ **Sorry for the darkness of the first chapter and I didn't really want him/her to be reincarnated into a cannon character because I really like the way that the character already were, y'know? Anyway I do hope that you enjoy this story as much as I enjoy writing it. Ciao~**

 _ **Guest:**_ **Well wait no longer because the new chapter is here! Ciao~**

 _ **NightlyRowenTree:**_ **Honestly the most that I'll do in this that is yaoi is hugging or looks and thoughts. Though if there is going to be more I'll warn you okay? And thanks for calling it awesome, if there is one way to win me over it would be threw compliment, as pretentious as that sounds XD**

When I first walked into classroom 1-C I don't quite know what I was expecting, after all in the front of the school I had seen men posted at every corner with a pompadour type hair style and a face that looked like a high-scholars.

Considering I just started middle school, you can see why this is a slight concern to me. I'm going to be honest though, at first I didn't want to believe that I was in an anime/manga world, I mean who would?!

My life before this was hell. It was the worst type of hell anyone could ever wish on someone and I really didn't want to feel more helpless then I already am! My mom didn't understand why I woke up screaming in fear, nor did she get why I recoiled to the slightest touch.

So I made myself forget. I made myself forget the emotions that came with the memories, not the memories themselves because I didn't want to forget those. No matter how throbbing the pain of those memories were, or how disgustingly gut-wrenching they are to see in my dreams, they made me who I am today.

So the thought of going through all of that in my last life, only to come to this cheery, if albeit darker than most, world, really makes me wonder what type of fucked up shit that fate has planned for me.

Well, if I'm here I might as well try and ride this bitch out with a bang, right?

"Students, we will be having a new classmate join us, so please be polite and try not to overwhelm the newcomer hmm?" The teacher said with a slight smirk of amusement before calling out to the door. "You may come in now Nakimura-kun"

'Tch, as if they could _overwhelm_ me. I have lived with my beloved mother and have turned out just fine, after all.' He murmured to himself, before almost gliding to the front of the classroom.

A brunet-haired looked up from his musings in rapid interest as the long-haired student made his way up to where the teacher is before opening his mouth to speak, "Ohayo Minna-san. My name is Nakimura Akiko and I hope that you all treat me well" Then smiled a smile full of innocence that had something in Tsuna go a little crazy.

The classroom was silent for a bit before whispers and blushes came out amongst the students. "Alright, Alright, quite down or I will call Hibari-San in" And just like that a silence fell over the classroom before Akiko had turned to the teacher and asked where he could sit.

"Hmmm, Sawada-kun, raise your hand so that Nakimura-kun can see you." The teacher then turned to Akiko and said "Now do you see that student with his hand raised, go sit behind him."

As Akiko was walking to his seat he smile slightly at Tsunayoshi whispering to him " Nice to meet you Sawada-san, I hope that we can get along well this year"

Tsunayoshi looked shocked that the new student spoke to him at all.' Though it probably won't happen again.' Tsunayoshi thought with a pessimistic smile, though he had quickly snapped out of it, feeling the glares on him from his newly formed fan-club made him quickly reply into saying "A-ah, N-nice to meet you too" Then they both turned back to the lesson with Tsunayoshi being unaware of the slightly curious glances that Akiko sent his way when no one was paying attention.

'Huh, so that is the protagonist of this anime/manga…how adorkable' **(Apparently his mom rubbed off on him a little more than he thought.)**

He chuckled lowly before looking out the window 'I think that I am going to have a good time this year' He thought with a slight smirk curling on his full lips.

Tsunayoshi felt a shiver pass through his body, but he couldn't tell if it was a good thing or a bad one.

 **Review on your way out please and tell me what you think! Bye-Bye**

 **I hope that yall have a good day!** _ **Whatever time zone that you guys might be on lol XD**_


	4. My promises

**Hahaha..ha so...What is up everyone... Okay I litteraly have no excuse for not writing my latest chapter other than laziness, but do not worry my young eager lovelies, For i have returned! Now here is my chapter!**

 _She slid through the darkness of the night, hoping to see !$# one last time before-before everything ends._

 _She know that this is going to be the last time that they will ever see eachother, that this is the last moment she will breathe the nights fresh sweet air before she is terminated, and before he is - gone._

 _There is no moon tonight but a prisoners eyes are more capable of using the cold light of the stars. By their glow it is simple enough to pick out any traps left by guards scattered across the clearing. They're deadly, all of them, because they've lost the luxury of mercy years ago._

 _"The guards are all switching their shifts and the extra traps are in place in case someone gets a little heavy footed." She says, slipping over a jagged boulder and landing infront of her partner._

 _! $# coughs, deep and wracking, but nods. "Surrounding?" He rasps, and his voice is rough and his breathing is laboured from a recent fit._

 _She closes her eyes, not so much to shut out the fact that ! $# is dying, but to strangle the despair that's rising up inside her. "Clear" is all she say, though, taking a seat beside him and watching as he pulled himself upright with worried eyes. "You're-?"_

 _"Fine," ! $# finishes, because after so many years of saying nothing, of only seeing the expresions on eachothers face and having to have am entire conversation without saying a word, they're all but sharing brainwaves. Not that the question was hard to guess, given their situation. He leans back against the boulder behind them, clearly exausted, but reaches out to wrap a hand around the back of her neck and dragged him closer._

 _She goes with it, not about to resist, and she lets herself fall all but boneless against ! $# strong chest, pressing her forehead into his shoulder. Slim , deft fingers thread through her long hair, tugging lightly, and then still._

 _"It's almost time," He says and for once, his voice is nearly gentle._

 _She keeps her eyes closed and doesn't move. She knows, shes known for weeks now, but that doesn't make it any easier to accept. This is a one-way ticket for only one person._

 _" I've got two days left, three at the very most, This, us, it's always gonna be there and i refuse to let you be alone after i die. I promised that i would always take care of you, and this is how im going to do it, by letting you live and not die of my sickness."_

 _She smiles at him, small and sad. "No one would ever believe me if i told them that ! %$ was a closet romantic," she jokes, but the lines in ! $# face have eased a bit and she breathes out._

 _He tips his head back, checking the position of the stars, and then murmurs, "Izza..."_

 _With a soft sigh, she leans back if only a little. She follows ! $#'s gaze and nods, expression resigned. "Yeah, I know." The she leans foward and He meets her her halfway in a slow, careful kiss, the goodbye they'll never be able to speak outloud, the tears that will never be able to shed for a loss they've both helped to orchestrate. She tries not to cry when he pulls away, breathing hard and eyes gone dark and somber._

 _"I'll never-"_

 _"No," ! $# cuts in, and the desolation is entirely gone, banished by the raging, furious fire that's sprung up in his eyes "No, Izza, don't you dare promise me that. You_ _ **deserve**_ _to find someone else, to_ _ **feel**_ _this again. It won;t be me, it won't be the same, but swear you'll let yourself. Swear Izza."_

 _She meets his sharp gaze, sees the determination, and knows that in this at least she will never win. So she gives in with a crooked smile, dipping her head and murmuring, "I swear, ! $#, if there is anyone else, I'll try. But you're..."_

 _His eyes soften, and he tips his head foward to knock their foreheads together "I know, but...try."_

 _They both understand, because it's something they'd ask of the other and fail at doing for themselves, no matter how situations played out. Love is a fierce and formidable thing, at least in parting, and the grief of lost romantic love is something neither of them has had to endure before. ! $#'s will be over shortly- he can feel his life seeping away, the clock runnung down on his time here- but Izza will have to endure and survive, alone in a land that's become strange to her._

 _"I will." She repeats._

 _! $# reaches out with a hand that doesn't shake, deperatly trying to memerize her beautiful face, lean from the years of hard living, and scarred from punishment however light._

 _There is a single thin braid, hanging down beside her face, and he touches it regretfully, remembering the long, slow night that they took for themselves once the plans were set in motion. One night where they threw thoughts of safety and concealment and vigilance to the wind and only a slim plait bound with a single leather band and a lingering ache in both their bodies to remember it by._

 _"Keep this?" He asks before he can stop himself. "Just...just this one." For me isnt said but is understood._

 _"Always"_

Dream end

Akiko sat up in his bed quickly while sweat drips down his face. After his breathing calms he slowly reaches a hand up to his neck where a plait sits, and he's not surprised to still find the leather band on it.

Instead he lets out a shaky smile as he rubs his plait, tears slowly stream down his face remembering his lost love and his promise to him and breaths out a simple sentence.

"I swear."

AN/ So how was it? I know there wasnt much plot development but at least you all can slightly understand why he was so deadset on not forgetting his past. lmao

Please leave a comment on your way out, I would love to hear feedback from everyone

Ciao~


	5. The Voices

_Okay so to answer some of your questions, She died when they wanted her to die, these people were litteraly the most disgusting people that you can think of. They liked playing with her a little too much and kept her alive until she was around 17-18 lol thanks for the reviews everyone! Oh! And has anyone guessed who the other person was? Oh yeah and I don't own anyone except for my ocs and I hope y'all enjoy bye bye!_

Recap:  
 _"Keep this?" He asks before he can stop himself. "Just...just this one." For me isnt said but is understood._

 _"I swear"_

At the same time Tsuna had woken up with a start, gasping for breath with a slight sheen of sweat on his skin.  
' _What was that about?_ _And who was that?_ he wondered, hearing that promise had made his chest go a little tight before shaking the dream _memory?_ off and forgetting all about it.

"Tsu-kun~ you're going to be late, it's time to get up!"

"Hiieeee, c-coming kaa-chan! "

He rushed down the stairs pulling up his pants and buttoning his shirt as he snatched a piece toast and his bento from his startled yet slightly amused mother.

"Bye kaa-chan! Love you! "

With a chuckle she replied back "Bye bye Tsu-kun, be safe! "

And with a final wave she shut the door.

Tsuna ran as fast as he could tripping over himself and he silently chanted _' please no hibari-san please no hibari-san please no hibari-san!'_

He never faltered once as he ran through the front gates of the school, keeping up the fast pace until he reached his classroom not hearing any calls of his name.

As he sat down the bell rang and a slight chuckle from behind him startled his exaughsted mind as he turned around slightly.

"A-ah o-ohayo Nakimura-san" he said slightly curious as to why he seemed familiar to him.

A hand rested on his head broke him from his wondering thoughts as the said hand started to rub his head.

"Ohayo Sawada-kun, and please call me Akiko"

With a grin Naki- Akiko-san brought his hand back as a flush rose on Tsuna's face.

"T-then you can call me Tsuna, everyone else does" ' _well they call me dame-tsuna, though I hope he hasn't noticed'_ he thought with a slight glance in his direction, hoping for a friend.

"Weeeeell I don't wanna be like everyone else so, i'mma call you Tsuna-chan!"

' _No! Not even kaa-san calls me that!'_ he thought with silent anime tears rolling down his face and yet he replied

"I-if you want"

Akiko stares at him for a second before cracking up, his braid moving to his side as he throws his head back

"Y-you should've seen your face! Hahaha"

Akiko's loud laughter had bought them the attention of the class, as he was silently chuckling alng with Akiko he didn't quite feel the glares of half his classmates were giving him for being the first one to make Akiko laugh and the other half slightly blushing at the melodic sound the two were making.

Taking a minute to catch his breath Akiko then stated in an amused tone

" I was kidding Tsuna...unless you wan-"

"N-No! Tsunas fine, haha I like being called Tsuna"

"Well that's good, seeing as that is your name"

Feeling a flush overtake his face once more in the span of two minutes made his face go even redder.

"R-right."

 _'Although those lips can say my name however they please'_

With a slight jump he looked around as to see who would say such a thing even if it was true he thought with a blush, never noticing the slightly concerned look Akiko was giving him.  
 _'Up here dumbass_ '

Tsuna looked up in confusion , seeing nothing but the ceiling

The voice gave a sigh before saying _'I meant I'm in your head'_

 _'W-what!'_

º¤ø,¸¸,ø¤º°°º¤ø,¸¸ °º¤ø,¸¸,ø¤º°°º¤ø

After Tsuna had left for school Nana had a cleaned up breakfast.

She buisied herself with cleaning up the house a little before settling down for a nice cup of tea.

Her mind slowly wandered to her absentee husband as her hand slowly started making a fist.

' _Where are you Iemistsu? Why aren't you here to help your son grow? Why is it so hard for you to just come home? Why did you ask me to marry you if you were just going to leave?!_

As these thoughts circled her mind the sound of shattered glass broke her from her thoughts.

With a slight scoff , she got up and cleaned up the slight mess she made.

 _'How dare he make me feel this way! I can't do this, I can't do this anymore- no I need to think this over'_

With that in mind she had decided to go cool off and take a trip to the grocery store .

She opened up her front door and made sure to lock it before deciding to check the mail before she left.

"N-nana! " a surprised voice had knocked her out of her thoughts, long black hair with a blue sheen had caught her attention first as she looked up to a familiar and happy face.

"K-kikyo?!"

"Oh my god! It really is you!.. "

Despite the fact that almost 15 years had passed Nana still remembered that once kikyo started on a rant.

It was unlikely to get her to stop unless you said the 'magic words' and thankfully, Nana remembered them word for word.

"Kyo-chan, how about you come inside and join me for some tea and dango~"

"Ha! By tea I hope you mean coffee! And don't think I've forgotten about all the explaining you need to do!"

With a slightly depressed air around her Nana just said "never"

º¤ø,¸¸,ø¤º°°º¤ø,¸¸ °º¤ø,¸¸,ø¤º°°º¤ø

So that's it! Tell me what you think in a review or pm! Bye bye for now!  
"Tell them sorry for the late update!"

Oh right lol yeah sorry y'all but the life of a procrastinater is a hard one lol yeah I have like no excuse

Ciao~


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